Eyajohanna's home birth

August 16, 2023

By Eyajohanna Emmelin Korch Saxe
The week and a half leading up to the birth I was about to go crazy. I really struggled to trust my intuition and the many signals from my body. I sought support and advice from my midwife and my doula.

The whole Throughout the pregnancy I had a strong feeling that I would give birth at the end of October, and as the time drew closer there were more and more signs that it would probably happen. Exactly one week before little brother came into the world I had regular, strong Braxton Hicks contractions for four hours during the night. But suddenly the contractions stopped and we fell asleep again around 5 a.m. Completely confused and disappointed, I woke up Friday morning thinking the whole thing was really stupid.

I decided to completely let go of the idea and expectation that I would give birth before my due date on November 3rd. I made plans with friends and booked an exciting seminar I’d had my eye on for a long time. In general, I tried to pretend that little brother’s arrival wasn’t just around the corner.

On Wednesday, October 24th, I keep Valdemar home from kindergarten. We have a real Valdemar-and-Mom day with a trip to the zoo, cake, and cozy drawing time. That evening I go to bed with a deep trust that the birth will find its way when we are all ready.

At 1:20 a.m. on October 25th I wake up feeling restless. I need to pee like crazy, and on my way to the bathroom I get a strong Braxton Hicks contraction, like I’ve had so many times before. I brush it off and lie back down in bed between Valdemar and Rasmus.

I start to shake a little as if I’m cold, and the unease grows. Another strong Braxton Hicks contraction… I take a Gelsemium from my homeopathic birth kit. I try to sleep. The shaking stops.

Half an hour later I need to pee again. As I get out of bed, my water breaks. It’s 1:53 a.m. I gently wake Rasmus.

Because of our experience last time, we get up right away and start getting the birth pool ready to be filled. We eat a little something and Rasmus takes a shower.

I have a few strong Braxton Hicks contractions, maybe 20–30 minutes apart. I really feel like I need to go to the toilet but can’t. So I decide to do an enema right away. Then it’s done. It made room.

We notify the midwife, doula, photographer, and grandma. But my doula friend’s phone is off. We try several times. We also call her husband but can’t get through. I start to feel uneasy.

Everything comes to a halt. No activity in the uterus. At 3 a.m. we go back to bed. Rasmus quickly falls asleep. I can’t really sleep even though there are no contractions. After an hour and a half of tossing and turning, I get up.

It’s 4:30 a.m. I make a cup of tea and find my audio tracks with relaxation and visualizations. I sit down on the sofa with a lit candle and listen to the tracks. I connect with little brother in my belly. “If you’re ready, I’m ready too. You just have to show me the way,” I manage to say to him. I have two small contractions while I’m sitting there.

At 5:20 a.m. Valdemar wakes up. “What are you doing, Mom?” I go to him and tell him that my water has broken and that little brother is definitely coming today. He becomes completely overjoyed. We stay in bed for about an hour just cuddling. I have two small contractions more. Rasmus and Valdemar get up and make breakfast. At 6:30 I finally fall asleep. At 7 Valdemar wakes me with breakfast. I have the first real contraction. It pinches in the front, just as I remember from Valdemar’s birth.

I manage to eat a single slice of bread. The phone rings and my doula friend is on the other end. By mistake she had put her phone on flight mode that night. But now she’s ready and can be here within 30–40 minutes.

I can feel how the contractions are really taking hold now. When my midwife arrives at 7:40 I’m having contractions about every 10 minutes. I use my breathing and I’m overjoyed that they’re finally getting strong. I’m 3 cm dilated. His head is low. No bloody show. Little brother is doing brilliantly. Valdemar strokes me and talks calmly to me.

The contractions intensify. I lean against Rasmus. It already feels heavy. I get chili patches on my belly and lower back, but feel no relief. The patches come off again. I just have to get in the water now. The photographer and my mom have arrived. It’s 8:45 a.m.

The lights have been turned on in the dark living room. The candle for Aunt Katrine, who is in heaven, is lit on my little birth altar with flowers, photos, and my chakra stones. Bach’s Rescue drops go into the water along with the salt.

I can get in. The warmth envelops my body. I find a sense of calm. I let the contractions really take hold. They become more frequent. I lean on Rasmus for support.

Valdemar wants to get in the tub with me. It’s so amazing to share this experience with him. He has been SO excited. He’s been waiting for his little brother and just wants to be there to welcome him. He stays totally cool when I have contractions.

My breathing becomes more and more like surf, rough and rushing. My movements more intense. I feel little brother rotating and pushing down. Still no bloody show. It really tears in the front over my pubic bone. I examine myself internally. His head is low, probably 5–6 cm up, but my cervix is only 4–5 cm dilated. Tight and not the least bit yielding. I get scared. It feels as if the uterus doesn’t want to let go. I have to get up. Out to the toilet. It’s 9:30 a.m.

The next four contractions are insanely intense. Everything in my body is tearing. I move quickly. Stomp my feet on the floor and twist my pelvis. Then it releases. Like a whoosh. I get a bloody show and feel his head descend deeper.

Back in the bathtub. I’m hit by fear and resistance. “I don’t want this. I’m scared. It feels wrong.” My helpers are there. They support me and I don’t feel alone at any point. But the fear is mine, and only I can overcome it. I can feel the pushing phase approaching. I get some intense stabs up through my back and around my sacrum. It feels as if something will snap or tear if I push with the contractions. The only thing I can do is pant through each one. It’s 10 a.m.

I talk to little brother in my belly. “Not so fast. Give me a bit of time. I’ll make room for you. Just not too fast. I just need to catch up.” For the next 20 minutes it’s completely quiet in the living room. Everyone sits around the pool just holding the space for me. The calm music in the background is regularly drowned out by my gasps. Rasmus holds my foot, but otherwise it’s just little brother and me working together in the most beautiful way. I pant through each contraction and push very gently in the breaks.

For the last three contractions I get on my knees in the pool. I can feel his lovely little head full of hair. I stroke him while he’s right there. Ready to receive him. With the next contraction he slides out to me and immediately reaches his arms up toward me.

I did it!! I conquered my fear and got to experience the calmest pushing phase ever.

We light a candle for him and sing him into the world. “Let heaven rejoice each time on earth a child of man is born.”

Say hello to August. Born 25.10.18 at 10:35 a.m. After three and a half hours of intense contractions.