The birth of Zacharias

By Midwife Eyajohanne Korch Saxe

The birth of Zacharias already started several weeks before he finally landed in my arms. It was a spiritual journey into myself and a lot intense inner work before my body, mind and spirit could fully open and let him go and guide him earthside.

I had actually believed and felt guided that I would give birth right around week 37. So when I started having the first contractions at that time I was convinced that I was right. But almost 3 more weeks had to pass before the release came.

On the night of November 16, I wake up like many nights before this one, around 4 am, and feel a pang. I get up and go to the toilet. Trying to push it to the fact that this woe is actually nev, because I can't bear the disappointment once again of thinking that there is a birth in the making that is just going to go away on its own again and again.

But when I have to admit an hour later that the few contractions there had actually been a lot more intense than they otherwise have been, I get up and go into the living room, where I sit down with my knitting, a cup of tea and a candle.

I start to time the contractions and register how intense they are. I have not tried to be in the latency phase before, as the other two births have started with water breaking and from there directly into active labor, so it is completely strange and a bit surreal to experience these strong contractions but at 12-15-20 minute intervals.

Around 6 o'clock the house starts to wake up and I can feel the interval between contractions getting longer. I tell my husband that there might be something going on, but that I can't bear to think about real birth yet. We decide to drive in the morning as we usually do and thus send the children off to kindergarten and school. During breakfast I don't have a single pain and I think once again that it was a fuser.

At a quarter past 8 I kiss the children and husband goodbye and start cleaning up. Already 5 minutes after they have been driven I get a woe. A powerful one. And then another one. And one more. I go to the toilet and when I dry myself I see signs of bleeding. YES! I shout! Looking at myself in the mirror and saying "game on".

I text my husband and tell him to just come home when the kids are dropped off, because now I'm safe.

A good hour passes before he is home and in the meantime the contractions have become almost regular, although still at 10 minute intervals. I boil a lot of water and put in thermoses and cups because our hot water tank is not very big.

At 9.30 when my husband has come home, the contractions increase in force and interval. He tries to fill the tub as fast as he can because now the contractions really hurt and come regularly. At At 9.45 I get in the water. Oh that relieved.

We call the photographer, who says she can be there at half past twelve. I hope she makes it, because last time I was only in labor for 3.5 hours.

We had actually planned a Free Birth (birth without a midwife) (ed. Eyajohanne is a trained midwife herself) , where my mother and my doula friend would be there. My mother to help and be there for the children and my doula friend to support and help me and my husband. But of all days they are both prevented.

My mother is on a plane on her way to London to celebrate my niece's 2nd birthday and my friend's husband can't look after their children because of the local elections as he works for TV. So all of a sudden we have no helpers. We are considering whether we should let the children stay in school/kindergarten, even though they have both expressed clearly that they would like to be here during the birth. And then we consider whether we should call for a midwife anyway. I feel that the birth is different and more intense than the other two and we therefore decide to call Hillerød at 10. All these practical considerations make my contractions calm down a bit again...

At the same time, I feel a great longing for the children to be here. I cry and feel completely wrong if they are not here when little brother is born. My husband calls the school and asks them to send big brother Valdemar home on foot. He calls the nursery and asks if the head of the institution can/will drive August home in any way - it's a 25-minute trip each way. She wants that. I cry with joy and feel how the contractions rise again.

At At 10.30 my eldest son enters the door. A huge smile meets me and a kiss on the forehead. He has been looking forward to it SO much. He was also there when August was born 3 years ago.

The contractions wash over me and I have to cling to my husband several times. I examine myself internally and feel that I am only 3-4 cm dilated, a little tight and rigid at the edge of the cervix. A large stretched amniotic membrane with water and a baby's head standing right up in BI.

At 11.05 the photographer and my little big August arrive at the same time. I will never forget seeing his eyes light up with joy and anticipation

Soon after, I feel a violent uneasiness come over me and I can feel that I have to get out of the tub. The experience from the other two births tells me that this is the stage where I suddenly open quickly and probably give birth soon.

I practically dance around, stomp, jump and twist my hips. It's super intense and hurts like crazy, but because I've experienced it with two other births I don't get scared. I feel calm and self-assured that the birth is nearing its end.

At 11.40 the midwife arrives from the hospital. Really nice and respectful. She has read my wishes in the journal and asks permission or checks in with me on what I want or need.

At 12.30 the contractions change character and I can breathe in a completely different way now. I jump in the tub and experience how the interval gets longer while the contractions get stronger. In my midwife's head and with the experience of my previous births, I think "perfect - then I'm in the transition phase". I even tell my husband. That I expect the press phase to approach. I feel a slight pressure in the back during the pain and just feel happy at the thought.

I examine myself again and really feel that I am now almost completely open. There is only a small edge at the front behind the pubic bone. His head is still in BI but the water balloon almost reaches the pelvic floor. It's the one that gives me that light press sensation. In my head I think we just wait for the water to recede and then he will probably come flying.

At 12.45 I examine myself again. Unchanged inside. I doubt what I have felt inside, because the contractions become more painful again. I get scared that he won't be able to get out at all or that this pain will continue for hours more. I therefore ask the midwife to examine me properly - on land. So I get out of the tub and lie down on the couch.

She confirms what I have felt myself. Almost completely open, an edge to the front, stretched amniotic membrane and a baby's head in the pelvic entrance.

While the midwife examines me, my water breaks in the middle of labor. Clear water. Nice heartbeat. She tries to push the edge to the front under a woe, but it won't budge.

I will stand up again. Next to the tub. It's 1:16 p.m., the pain is unbearable and I'm panicking. I shout that it feels wrong. Like he can't be there. My hips feel like they will break into a thousand pieces and it tears in the front over the pubic bone. I think we're going to have to go to the hospital because he's not coming.

I get on all fours on the floor leaning over the edge of the tub, while my husband holds me upright from behind and the midwife squeezes my hips hard.

The midwife tries to calm me down and assure me that it will be alright. She recommends that we try to push the edge away again. I agree with her but cannot physically move from the position I am in. I feel trapped. After 3-4 contractions like this I decide to try pushing to the edge myself.

At 13.28 I insert two fingers and I manage to keep the edge away for the next 2 contractions. I feel how his head rotates and at the same time pushes himself forward and down. I get a violent urge to press. I just have to get in that tub now.

At 13.32 I come in the tub while roaring "he's coming now!!!!"

My older son comes running, tries to get little brother with him but he doesn't want to.

I gasp as hard as I can because I can feel little brother just come flying. The head is born and there is just a small pause. I can feel how he rotates his shoulder behind my pubic bone and I tell him "come out - you can". I pry him free and he swims out calmly in the tub.

I am completely shocked and can hardly focus for the first minute that he has actually landed. The only thing that fills right there is the pain and the feeling that I fell into a thousand pieces below.

After a few breaths I land and can suddenly connect with the little body and soul I have in my arms. The finest most beautiful little creature.

At the examination a little later, it turns out that I did not break at all. Not a single tear. I am amazed and grateful.

On the sofa, little brother gets his first sip and when the placenta has come out I get to take a piece from it and blend it into a smoothie which I drink.

My husband helps me salt the placenta and get it in my little homemade bag. But unfortunately I don't have the strength to make an impression of her or take the mother part off to have capsules made with placenta powder. All this my dear friend should have helped me with. It was the wildest and most intense birth of all 3 I've had. Zacharias has told me throughout the pregnancy that everything would be/will be different. He has a very strong and insistent energy that grounds and connects.

He is the strong silent type